Andrey MAKAREVICH, musician, poet, leader of the “Time Machine” group

Vodka is a beverage drink. It is absolutely rational, aimed at solving one problem - to get drunk. Other drinks are covered with a fig leaf of taste. Vodka is tasteless.

The life of a Russian person outside of vodka is unthinkable. Can you imagine a Siberian winter feast with dumplings and a bottle of chardonnay? Ancient, lapping Russia I draw myself extremely vaguely. What replaced the fighting one hundred grams? Mead, or what? Stop it.

Our generation did not go to vodka immediately. Young hippy years passed under the flag of port. But I remember the third course of architecture, we run out of the institute into the autumn slush, go down to the Sardinka cafe, take a half portion of the first - meat solyanka, it is in a stainless steel bowl, hot, bright orange in color, a slice of lemon floats in it, and two glasses, and sit down at a plastic table, and pour the piece of bread in half - and this is exactly as much as you need - and drink deliciously, and jam in an incredibly tasty hodgepodge, and the world finds harmony.

The pleasure of vodka is not necessarily associated with the view of the snowy forest, frost, crispy onions, frozen lard and brown bread, although this primitive picture is close to perfection.

Take good vodka and refrigerate. But not in the freezer! Vodka should be cooled - until the bottle is slightly fogged.

Next is the company. Better not very big and consisting only of your close male friends. One, even a good person drinking wine or brandy, will ruin your holiday.

Reason is not required. Figs need! The meeting is already a holiday. And if you did not agree on it in three days, and suddenly decided to drink half an hour ago, the holiday will be even brighter. Happiness is sudden.

Now, a snack. The right fat. If you take it out of the freezer, cut it thinly with a sharp knife - if the thickness is correctly selected, the slices will slightly wrap. Lard should be soft, but hard. And right on this plate, bring to the table, and also a few peeled garlic cloves, horseradish, mustard and Borodino bread.

But the first and especially the second glass gives true happiness. The interval is important here. It varies from 1.5 to 4 minutes. After the first - silence. Listen to yourself. Do you hear how the secret doors open, how did the current run along the cold wires? Now look into the eyes of friends. See - the same with them?

Between the second and third there comes a state of harmony, and if people had learned to hold it, then the question of eternal happiness would have been resolved. Alas, after the second one is always the third, and this is good, but not divine anymore.

What is the difference between a drinker and an alcoholic? The drinker knows that if he drinks correctly, he will receive joy. The alcoholic remembers that there was joy. And drinks while waiting for her. But she is not. And he drinks more. And more, and more. No! Clinic, icy hands of doctors, masturbation, syphilis, death.

Do you understand where I'm driving?